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Apr 04
2015

The Life and (High) Times of Hello Kitty

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

Stokes-Hello-Kitty2-1200

Born Josephine Baker in Tupelo, Mississippi, the middle child in a litter of seven would go on to become the (in)famous Hello Kitty. The dark-eyed kitten with pure white fur first came to the attention of famed musical producer, Jon Destin, when he saw her in a sixth grade stage production. "I was simply visiting my cousin, who's daughter was also in this play. It was a musical rendition of Schindler's List and Jo just blew us all away, not only with her singing ability but just her stage presence," he explained. Negotiations quickly ensued and contracts signed. Josephine started, as so many do, on the Mouseketeer Club Show. A former fellow member of the club, who spoke under anonymity, told us, "I don't know what they were thinking. The "Club" is not a place for any child. We were completely unsupervised and there was a great deal of what you might call "experimenting" going on. And besides, she was a cat. In a "Mouse" club. Really poorly thought out."

Josephine appeared in small roles opposite big-name movie stars in-between her shooting schedule for the Club. Film critics started taking notice of this tiny, but amazingly self-possessed young actress. It was in her second season when the problems started. Arguments erupted with other members. She started showing up late, went missing for several days before arriving as if nothing had happened. "There were definitely times she showed up high and/or drunk on the set. Her parents were useless in trying to tame their little money-maker." She did not renew for a third season. Three months passed without a word. Then her first album was released and tour dates announced. Josephine Baker was repackaged and delivered to the world as Hello Kitty. The album was a megahit and merchandising for anything Hello Kitty continues to this day, driven by the 9 - 14 year old female demographic. However, with each successive album, though 'tweens slavishly bought them up, the quality started to ebb, with critics pointing out the derivative and generic nature of the songs. "In one song all she does is repeat 'meow' to a syncopated beat. Purina did that in the 70s!"  With each album, also, Hello Kitty, who had legally changed her name, seem to become more and more unraveled.

hello kitty limo
As Hello Kitty disembarked from her limo, she revealed not only does she not wear
Hello Kitty underwear, she doesn't wear any underwear at all.




Mar 08
2015

Pet Personals Column

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

Dogs Seeking Dogs

Alpha dog seeks submissive dog for light BDSM. Must have own leash and collar. Send inquiries to Fifty Shades of Greyhound. Mail#34290

Golden Retreiver seeks life partner. Enjoys long walks on beach, good food, rolling in anything smelly. Will share ball. Send inquiries to High Hopes. Mail# 42187

Feb 08
2015

Fear Free

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

Let's talk a moment about a new trend I've seen that seems solely designed to cause us more anxiety in this profession.  I received three of our mor prominent veterinary magazines around the same time.  Each of them had their take on promoting a Fear Free practice.  Right.  Sure.  That's going to happen.  Let's set our goal level to Unreasonable right off the bat.  Not to say that some of the suggestions aren't valid; it's just promoting it as "Fear Free" sets everyone up for failure.  True, "Less Fear" doesn't have the same alliterative ring and maybe sounds a little vague; however, it would be more accurate.  I sometimes think that these topics are pushed so that other people can make a good living working the lecture circuit promoting them.  What it does to the rest of us is to apply yet another layer of responsibility on our already burdened shoulders.  As if we aren't doing enough.  These articles all seem to slant things to suggest that if you aren't doing what's recommended then you aren't doing a good job, or a good enough job.  And "Fear Free" is only the latest of fads aimed at making us feel inadequate.  Then we turn around and wonder why we have such a high suicide rate, a high burn-out rate, a high drug use and mental instability rate.  Gee.  Could it be we do it to ourselves?  From what I've seen of our veterinary magazines and consultants, their sole goal is to assume to aim to a level of make-believe perfection.  And we fall for it.

As a side note, please notice how much of "Fear Free" is geared toward cats.  I have never heard a client say they don't like to bring their cat in because it's difficult.  My proof?  How many difficult cats I have to deal with.  They're not staying home because of a client thinking there's going to be a negative experience and are fretful over their little kitty getting "overwhelmed".  No.  Cats make infrequent visits to the vet because people are generally lazy and don't see the importance of annual visits or vaccines or FELV/FIV testing for their indoor/outdoor cats or for pretty much anything advantageous for them.  They seem fine, so no need to take them in.  Until they're not fine.  This is what I see with cat owners.  All of this effort geared toward making your practice more "cat-friendly" will be lost on the majority of cat owners.

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