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From the Back Row by Dr. Dean Scott from
Aug 07

Client Communication and Translations

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

I had a conversation with a client recently that started me down the road thinking about communication.  She brought her dog in because he was “not eating and having diarrhea”.  With any inappetent pet, I always offer a little canned A/d in the room to test what the owner is seeing or perceiving.  Though it doesn’t assuage all of my concerns, I feel better if they at least eat the A/d.  This dog scarfed the A/d down without hesitation.  So I started asking the owner if they had enticed with other food items to get him to eat.  I was told “no”.  I thought this was odd (since most owners will go into some kind of frenzied Bob Fosse at the Golden Corral Buffet dance number if Pookums doesn't eat) and went on to ask if, when they put the dog food down, does he just walk away from it, does he sniff it or show any interest?  I was told “no”.   Another off-kilter answer which, with a follow-up question, I was told “the dog food isn‘t down” - this said with a rather incredulous expression.  Further questioning deteriorated and confused me and I will ease your pain now.  What the owner meant when she said that “he’s not eating” was that she had not offered him food.  Since he had diarrhea, she felt it best to take food away, which I told her was a good idea.  I don’t think she ever realized that if you tell a vet that a pet isn’t eating, we assume that to be a clinical problem, not a problem of access to food.  I have never had a client phrase something this way in twenty-one years.

I had a conversation with a client where I tried to find out if it was due for vaccines.  She replied she went to another clinic when it had some skin problem.  This really wasn’t an answer to the vaccine question, so I asked it again.  She said, “Yes, they do vaccines there.”  Which was an odd way to phrase an answer, I thought.  “Did they give vaccines to your dog while you were there?” I futilely tried again.  “They do vaccines there.”  Back and forth it went, until I went through an inch of non-chronological paperwork and discovered that, no, the dog was not up-to-date on vaccines and needed pretty much everything.  Apparently, she just wanted to let me know that if she had wanted to get vaccines at this other clinic, she could have done so, because they “do vaccines there”.

Our veterinary magazines love nothing better than to put the entire onus on our shoulders for proper communication, ignoring the fact that there is another person involved in any conversation.  If not the client's spouse, aunt, sister, child, etc. also.  The magazines insist that as long as we spend hours with a client, repeating things over and over again, using common words so as not to threaten or demean a person’s fragile psychology, and speak in a soft, NPR voice of mutual care and respect, we will be able to perfectly communicate all the time.  As Ira Glass would say, "Yeah, right."  Even when speaking the same language, as in the examples above, communication is specious at best.

Jul 03

Future Veterinary News

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

Allergies of the future

An update on the most common food allergies in dogs, April, 2047: kangaroo, bison, ocean fish, pomegranate, blueberries, kelp, Yucca extract, and broccoli. Attempts have been made in the past to produce an all-inclusive non-allergenic diet for pets, which has simply changed what they are exposed to and therefore to what they become allergic. Veterinarians are now recommending owners with food allergic pets to try novel protein and carbohydrate sources such as beef, corn, chicken, wheat, and soy. New dog food manufacturers have already jumped on these latest trends, producing Blue Chicken brands, Solid Platinum, and Immunogood just to name a few. Their advertising lambasts Big Box companies for using such inferior meat sources as kangaroo, besides the inhumane slaughter of such a noble beast, and the obvious high allergen content of blueberries and broccoli.

Flee the fleas

Jun 01

Defining "It"

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

We were on the phone recently with a client. (Now, when I say "we", I'm sure many of you understand that I am not directly on the phone, but am working through an interpreter called a "technician". Interpreters work like this: Dr. says, "She does this every time! Tell her "no"! No!  No!  No!  I haven't seen her pet in almost a year!  She needs to get off her lazy @$$, drive the two blocks down here in her &$!*@! little car, and let me actually touch her pet, pay her $%&*!@! bill, then get the ^%$@#! out!" Interpreter: "I spoke with the doctor and he says it is very important for us to see your pet so that we can treat appropriately.") It was a client-driven conversation in that they wanted to just get some medication because they knew what the problem was and they didn't want to bring their pet in (not the first or last time this request will be made in my career). We, in our naivete, insisted that we really, really, really needed to see their pet before just arbitrarily treating.   The client then replied, "You're just full of it!" and hung up
This threw me a little bit. "It"? I'm full of "it"? What is this "it" that I am full of? There's ambiguity here because the client left out the "sh-" prefix which at least would have clarified her statement as a negative thing. I can't believe she left this off out of some weird politeness or bashfulness.

(Though, I'm so difficult to insult anymore I don't think I could even take that as a negative thing. After all, we are all full of the "sh-" form of "it". Especially if you believe the commercials that talk about how we, people, on average, have about seven to eight pounds of accumulated waste in our bodies. Maybe the people who say that mean it as a more descriptive phrase than as a disparagement. Yes, these are the thoughts that get me through a day.)
And even though her tone and the abrupt hang up could be taken negatively, I still think there's some room to interpret this mysterious "it" quality of mine as a positive. After all, there are people who are described as "with it", meaning they are capable and intelligent individuals. If you are a highly talented actor, you are said to have "it", an indefinable quality of aptitude, a gift. The term "It girl" was coined to describe a woman with a certain physical and mental facility that set her apart from others. I felt like calling the owner back to clarify, because maybe she just has a unique ability to see "it" in others. The thought of how that conversation would go just exhausted me, however; it just seemed like too much effort
When I see someone I admire, should I tell them how full of "it" they are? I could do a study on peoples' reaction to be confronted with such a declaration. I wonder how that would go? And the other part of this that still eludes me is the "fullness" of "it". Is this a replenishable commodity? I'm full now, but I might use "it" up. And how do I know where I stand on my level of "it", unless I have an expert like this client to tell me? I've looked and cannot find an "it"-gauge or "it"-reader. What if you lose "it"? I've heard of people losing "it" and that didn't seem like a good thing. (In fact, some people have lost "it" at the same time as being told they're full of "it".) Which reinforces that having "it" is a good thing, losing "it" a bad thing. Even if I don't lose "it", can I use "it" up? Can I get a refill? Can I Supersize "it"? I can't believe I got to this age without knowing I had "it". Maybe such ignorance was a good thing, because with great power comes great responsibility. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I really wish people would be more specific in their words, because this has bothered me a great deal, though probably not in the way the client intended. I'm back to thinking I should call her. Is "it" something you want from me? If "it" is something you want, I'm all about making a client happy. I can definitely bring "it". Because if you want some "it", I'll be glad to give you some, because I apparently have plenty.

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