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Funny Vet

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From the Back Row by Dr. Dean Scott from
Aug 08

Tales From The Vet School

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

This will be a new section for the blog that will tell (hopefully) funny stories from vet school.  Now, granted, these are my stories, but I would like to invite you to share your own funny stories.  Feel free to send me a story you'd like to share at and be sure to give me permission to reprint it and you may see it show up here.

So.  My only defense for this story is to say that if the professors want us to pay rapt attention to what they have to say, then they need to make their subject more interesting.  Now, as far as I'm concerned, this should mean more cartoons.  Barring that, they need to break up the tedium and punch up their material, because a lot of classes are mind-numbing to the point of being criminally coma-inducing.  They make you want to pull your own plug.  I mean, really, if your students are all unconscious, they're not learning anyway.  I'm not even sure what class this subject came up in.  I have to assume it had to do with birds, but knowing the way my mind works (or doesn't work depending on your viewpoint) that's not necessarily so.  Anyway, in an effort to entertain itself while the professor nattered on, my brain came up with a list of funny terms for bird waste.  Not content to just amuse myself (see, it started all the way back in vet school!) I passed the list around the class and, in usual fashion, people added their own ideas to the list until it finally cycled back around to me.  Feel free to use this kind of idea in your own classes in those critical times when you're hanging on to sanity by your last nail-bitten fingertips.  Here is the well thought-out and researched complete list of terms for bird waste by the fine people of the UC Davis graduating class of 1993.

Carrion Crap
Turkey Turds
Ostrich Ooze
Chicken Chunks
Penguin Popscicles
Parrot Precipitate
Parrot Pyramids
Canary Crap
Dove Doo
Pelican Piles
Macaw Manure
Lovebird Lumps
Eagle Egress
Lark Litter
Conure Crud
Budgie Blips
Kiwi Cookies
Seagull Sauce
Cuckoo PooPoo
Pigeon Patties
Chicken Stew
Turkey Trots
Flamingo Foie Gras
Goose Guano

And my personal favorite: Psittacine Pshit.  I'm sure there would have been more, but class ended.

Jun 18

Honest Prescriptions

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

The idea for this blog came from the idea "What if we wrote prescription labels not how medication should be given, but by how clients really do give them?"  So, below are some of the ones I came up with as seen applied in real life.  Have ones of your own?  Drop me a note at  Enjoy!

heartworm prevention rx

insulin rx copy

May 19

Reasonable Client Sighted!

Posted by Dean Scott in Untagged 

Dean Scott

The quiet town of Goose Creek, Kentucky (Pop. 272) was disturbed this week by a sighting of the legendary Reasonable Client. This mythic creature rarely shows itself and is notable for its calm and accepting nature. A local veterinary clinic was the location of the sighting and while the staff was excited about the encounter, they wished to maintain their anonymity.

"We just don’t want a lot of gawkers and amateur sleuths tramping around our backyard," the veterinary receptionist who identified herself as Thelma told reporters before going on to describe the creature. "He walked upright, ya know, like a real person. Stood about 6 foot 4 inches. And he had gentle eyes. You could tell he was a gentle soul by his eyes."

The owner of the veterinary clinic, Dr. D, seemed still stunned by the encounter. "I never really believed they existed. I mean, I’ve heard the stories, but as the years go on without ever seeing one you start to question. After all, our unofficial clinic motto is We Care For the Pets of the Questionably Sane and Reality-Challenged. But now…… .I’m a believer!"

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