Tales From The Vet School

  • August 8, 2015

This will be a new section for the blog that will tell (hopefully) funny stories from vet school. Now, granted, these are my stories, but I would like to invite you to share your own funny stories. Feel free to send me a story you’d like to share at toonfull@aol.com and be sure to give me permission to reprint it and you may see it show up here.

So. My only defense for this story is to say that if the professors want us to pay rapt attention to what they have to say, then they need to make their subject more interesting. Now, as far as I’m concerned, this should mean more cartoons. Barring that, they need to break up the tedium and punch up their material, because a lot of classes are mind-numbing to the point of being criminally coma-inducing. They make you want to pull your own plug. I mean, really, if your students are all unconscious, they’re not learning anyway. I’m not even sure what class this subject came up in. I have to assume it had to do with birds, but knowing the way my mind works (or doesn’t work depending on your viewpoint) that’s not necessarily so. Anyway, in an effort to entertain itself while the professor nattered on, my brain came up with a list of funny terms for bird waste. Not content to just amuse myself (see, it started all the way back in vet school!) I passed the list around the class and, in usual fashion, people added their own ideas to the list until it finally cycled back around to me. Feel free to use this kind of idea in your own classes in those critical times when you’re hanging on to sanity by your last nail-bitten fingertips. Here is the well thought-out and researched complete list of terms for bird waste by the fine people of the UC Davis graduating class of 1993.

Carrion Crap
Turkey Turds
Ostrich Ooze
Chicken Chunks
Penguin Popscicles
Parrot Precipitate
Parrot Pyramids
Canary Crap
Dove Doo
Pelican Piles
Macaw Manure
Lovebird Lumps
Eagle Egress
Lark Litter
Conure Crud
Budgie Blips
Kiwi Cookies
Seagull Sauce
Cuckoo PooPoo
Pigeon Patties
Chicken Stew
Turkey Trots
Flamingo Foie Gras
Goose Guano

And my personal favorite: Psittacine Pshit. I’m sure there would have been more, but class ended.

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