U.C. Davis, California

So, I’m posting this song in celebration of our twenty years since escaping from vet school. I wrote this on a fourteen hour drive from Chicago, IL to Little Falls, MN (don’t ask) when I had little to entertain myself other than my warped brain. This was in my first year out of school, so……I’ve been sitting on this for awhile. I only changed a couple of lines before finalizing it recently. So glad I came across good people to help me see it to its natural conclusion. Credits are as follows – Lead vocals/BGVs: Oliver Sprague Guitars: Paul Needles Drums/Bass/Keyboards/Percussion/BGVs/and all around genius: Rick Barclay Lyrics: Dean Scott. I’d like to dedicate this not only to my own graduating class of ’93, but to all subsequent and current students at UC Davis. Good luck! No, really. Good luck.


On a dark stretch of highway, between Sac and San Fran,
If I’d known then what I know now, I would’ve ran.
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light.
The journey was long and my future dim,
I didn’t realize my plight.
As I stood in the doorway, I heard a classroom bell,
And I was thinking to myself, “This could be heaven or this could be hell.”
But they lit up a candle, and they showed me the way.
There were voices down each corridor, thought I heard them say,
“Welcome to U.C. Davis, California!
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face.
There’s plenty of room at the vet school in California!
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find it here.”
They have all your questions answered.
They’re number one among schools.
They’ve got a lot of pretty pretty toys, as diagnostic tools.
On Fridays they dance in the courtyard, sweet, nervous sweat.
Some study to remember.  Some drink to forget.
So I called Student Services, because I needed to whine,
And they said, “We haven’t helped a student out since nineteen-sixty-nine.”
And still those voices are calling from far away.
Wake me up in the middle of a class, just to hear them say,
“Welcome to U.C. Davis, California!
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face.
They’re living it down at the vet school in California!
What an expensive surprise (what an expensive surprise)
They have an alibi.”
Chain links from the ceiling, formaldehyde on ice,
And they said, “You are all just visitors here, of your own device.”
In the pathology chambers, they gather for the feast.
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can’t kill the beast.
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door.
I had to find the passage back to the life I had before.
“Good night,” said the night tech, “We are programmed to receive.
You can graduate any time you like, but you can never leave!”

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