Doctor My Dog

Song performed by Ben Hester. Musical composition and accompaniment by Rick Barclay. Lyrics by Dean Scott.

This is a song parody I did about two years out of school. I had noticed when dealing with the public that a lot of similar themes, questions, conversations, and situations arose on any given day. There were (and are) times that you could predict word for word what a client would say in a given scenario. So I took those thoughts and put them together in the following song. The only modification that I did to the song over the years was adding the internet part since that has become so much more of an effect on our profession over the years. I hope you enjoy! (And, yes, to answer the question that will arise if you didn’t already know, there are people out there who think vet school is only two years long)

Lyrics

Doctor, my dog is up in years, And he’s been scooting his rear all over the carpet, Now I think he has rugburn,

He doesn’t pee where he should, These pills you gave me did no good, You gave me sixty, I have fifty-seven to return,

Doctor, my dog, Tell me what is wrong, Was I unwise, To leave him in the hot car for so long.

Doctor, a breeder told me what to do, Followed my neighbor’s advice too, Six months later, I decided to see a vet,

Perform those miracles that you do, The ones you learned in those two years of school, She weighs seventy pounds, Is that too much for a Peekapoo?

Doctor, my dog, Tell me what you see, I checked the internet, And with you it disagrees.

Doctor, my dog won’t take his pills, He growls and won’t hold still, It’s such a hassle, Can you just give him a shot?

We’re so glad he’ll be okay, We can’t believe you’re making us pay, We’ll write a check, Can you hold it until May?

Doctor, my dog, Doesn’t ever bite, I can’t understand it, You must not have touched him right.

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