1. I've been having a problem using your order page. It either won't complete the order or it gives me an incorrect total. What should I do?
The software is through the United States Postal Service. I am completely at their whim and mercy - not a place you want to voluntarily put yourself, trust me. That being said - if you have any problems at all with the order process, please just send me a note through the site or directly to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it with the subject Order Problem. I will always check to see the why and wherefore of the particular problem, but at a minimum we can work out the shipping and handling and total charges via email. I apologize in advance for any difficulties you may encounter.
2. How do I contact you?
The best way is to go to the tab About Dr. Scott and the sub-menu Contact The Doctor. You can send any ideas or preliminary contact through that. If a dialogue is needed or you need to send an illustration or something more substantial and don't feel the Contact Me page is enough, use it first to set this up. I will be contacting you using the email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . You are certainly welcome to contact me through this email also, but please make it clear in the subject heading so I don't kick you out with the Spam.
3. Why are their multiple places to put my information? It seems redundant.
Yes, yes. Indeed it does. Indeed it does. The area at the top of the page to the right of the FunnyVet.com logo is where you can register as a user. This allows you to write comments and have input to the Forums. It is not required for you to see everything on the site - just allows you to be interactive. The area on the Home page below the book covers on the right is a place where you can sign up to receive any newsletters from the website. This is separate from the registration. Newsletters will usually consist of informing about updates to the site (new cartoons, blogs, etc.) or special events. Clicking on the book icons will send you to the ordering page which is also a separate entity than the other two information areas.
4. Do I have to sign in and give my information to use your site? And if I do provide my information, what is it used for?
First of all, no, the site and all of the content is completely free and does not require you to give me any information whatsoever. So, "Why ask for it?" you may ask. Well, for one it lets me know people are out there and actually visiting the site and I deeply appreciate the trust you extend by letting me know where you're from. Two, the only use for the information is I can send you monthly emails to let you know when the website is updated with new 'toons and also, if you have provided a good address, I send a newly-made original Christmas card specifically from FunnyVet to show my appreciation for your support every year (you would have to provide a viable mailing address of course). That's as far as the information you provide goes.
5. Where do you get your ideas?
Many places, but the best I find between the seat-cushions of the couch. You'd be surprised what you find there. On rare occasions, I have to go over to the neighbor's house and search their couch.
6. How long does it take for you to complete a cartoon?
From the tiny acorn of an idea to the towering oak of a truly funny cartoon, on average it takes about two hours. Some only take an hour, some have taken me up to four hours. Depends on complexity and whether my initial idea works on paper. The cartoons almost always go through a stream-of-consciousness editing process as I'm doing them. I do a pencil draft, ink it in, scan it, clean it up digitally, and serve it piping hot to your local computer. All worth it if you enjoy it.
7. I really like your site and your book is more important than Slatter or Ettinger combined. Is there a place I can leave input so others can know the greatness of your work?
I'm glad you asked. If you click on the book images on the Home page, it will take you to a page that, at the bottom, has yet another button called Reviews. Feel free to leave whatever laudatory words you would like there. You can also register as a user in the area to the right of the FunnyVet.com logo which allows you to leave cartoon comments and be able to input to the Forum. And thanks in advance!
(Ok, ok, I admit this it. This isn't an FAQ. I made it up.............I am so ashamed. But you 
can, still, leave reviews and comments as above.)
8. If I wanted you to do an individual cartoon as a gift, how would I go about it and what would it cost?
Use the Contact The Doctor sub-menu initially to send me your request. Give me as much detail as possible as to what you're expecting. For instance, if it is a situational event that occurred in your clinic, do you want me to use certain people's names? I can incorporate cartoon facsimiles of people if pictures are provided. The way this would work is, once we have decided together a rough estimate of what you're looking for, I will be put a draft of the cartoon together that you would approve. Once approved, I will ink it in and send the original to you. I try to get work done in a timely manner and give an estimate as to how long each request may take. The base cost is $60.00 per cartoon, but depending on complexity, may be more. The "more" can be discussed once we agree on the work, but generally should not be cost-prohibitive.
9. Is there a cost for me to just send you ideas for inclusion on the site?
No, don't be silly. If you just have an idea that you think is funny, send it to me and I'll see what I can do with it. Please let me know, however, if you wish to have your name attached to the idea or not. I like to give credit where credit is due. Some people have already supplied some ideas and you can find their names under the cartoons in the Galleries.
10. I am a lecturer and wish to include some of your cartoons in my presentations. How do I go about getting your permission and is there a cost?
Just send me a request through the Contact The Doctor sub-menu. Let me know what cartoons you are interested in and generally what their use will be. The cost is the low, low price of only $5.00/cartoon. This is a one-time fee for you to use the cartoons in the agreed-upon fashion. For instance, someone recently requested five cartoons to use in their lectures. They are allowed to use them in any lectures or presentations in any events until the end of time. Permission to use them in a book or some other manner, however, would require a different request. Once you let me know what you would like, I can send copies to you or attach them in an email.
11. Do you do any other work than just cartoons? For instance, would you be interested in illustrating a book? Or doing something for an educational pamphlet or advertising?
Yes. I am open to any avenue of work. All you need do is ask. I have done illustrations on children's books, one for a fellow veterinarian. I had an article, including illustrations, in DVM magazine. I have done work for the Morris Animal Foundation. Also, the Rhode Island, Kentucky, and Indiana VMAs have been gracious enough to use some of my work. I recently did a t-shirt logo for the University of Florida's Holistic Medicine Club as well. The Waggie, the SCAVMA magazine produced in Davis, California, also has and plans to use some cartoons. The Mississippi State Pre-Vet Club, IVIS, and AVIMARK feature some of my cartoons on their sites and newsletters. So, drop me a line and let me know what I can do for you.
12. Do you offer a discount for bulk orders?
I only offer a 10% discount for bulk orders that come from students. A bulk order is defined as 20 or more books. As I act more as a distributor, I have to actually purchase the books myself, so I have little leeway for offering anything more in the way of discounts.
13. Are you referring to actual people or situations when you do your cartoons?
Any resemblance to people or animals, living or dead, is purely coincidental...... blah,blah,blah,blah, blah. Many cartoons are inspired by others, but I studiously avoid using the way people actually look or their names. The only person who is illustratedly-picked-on and who's name is blatantly used and abused is my own. I have sent several cease-and-desist letters to myself, but continue to ignore them. I am considering further legal action.
14. Is FunnyVet.com good for me?
We use only polyunsaturated, low sodium jokes. Our brand of humor provides the recommended daily allowance of chuckles and guffaws. Dry wit is high in fiber and good for your bowels. It has been proven that the body burns 20% more calories when laughing. Daily intake of FunnyVet.com is a natural, holistic way to decrease stress, improve cardiovascular function, boost your immune system, and stimulate brain activity. It will actually make you a better person.
15. Will it all be okay?
Yes.
